Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
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