Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
Randomize
