you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Randomize
