Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
