? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
Randomize
