But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
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