i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Randomize
