fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
