I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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