you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
Randomize
