what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
Randomize
