And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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