Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
Randomize
