so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Randomize
