someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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