omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
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