Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Randomize
