I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
