The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
