bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
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