he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
