My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
