Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
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