He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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