Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
Buhtt sex?
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
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