Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
