i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
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