do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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