I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Randomize
