eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
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