quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
she pinky promised me she was 18
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
