Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
I'm lost and stupid without you.
I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
