But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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