I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
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