I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize
