the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
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