He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Randomize
