Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
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