So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
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