Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Randomize
