Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Randomize
