Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize
