You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
