Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Randomize
