SEEEEXXX PLEASE
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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