Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
Shame - the story of my life.
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