I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
