I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
