so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
Randomize
