He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
